1: I will not sing "The Badger Song" on Teledahn.
2: I will not sing "I Told the Witch-Doctor" on Serenia.
3: I will not draw obscene pictures on the Slates.
4: I will not paper Noloben with Snakes on a Plane posters.
5: I will not offer to prepare tandoori grossamery.
6: I will never ask Esher why one pattern is not merging into another.
7: The Tablet has no medications in it.
8: I will not throw Sirrus' crystal bombs around and yell "Zeeky boogy doog!"
9: The Wahrk Gallows is not a jungle gym.
10: I will not, on the lava room platform on Voltaic, jump around waving a ring and yelling "PRECIOUS!" over and over.
11: Gehn has no idea what a Death Star is.
12: I will not yell "PWNED!" at Saavedro when he's trapped between the shields.
13: When Gehn executes a rebel, I will not call it a wahrkout.
14: I will not call Gehn a "swaggering overbearing tin-plated dictator with delusions of godhood" to his face.
15: I will not break the windows on the Mazerunner, however tempting it may be.
16: I will not use the Waffle Iron for culinary purposes.
17: I will not say "THE ALIENS ARE COMING!" on Todelmer.
18: I will not write "Macarena" on a Slate.
19: I will not go up and down 37 with a pasteboard sign reading "The end of the world is nigh."
20: I will not share what Freud would say about my experiences in Dream.
21: I will not share what Freud would say about anyone else's experiences in Dream.
22: I will not start talking like Cho if I speak fluent D'ni.
23: I will not write "Veovis was here" on Tahgira. He probably wasn't.
24: I will not say "I think it's going to rain" on Eder Kemo.
25: I will not call Lanaren "King Methusaleh."